A Father's Birthday.

Today is Halloween. I should post pictures of my kids dressed up and begging for candy. That's what mom blogs are for, right? I will get around to that, but Halloween also happens to my dad's birthday; my birth father.

They say (whoever "they" is) your personality is fully formed by six. I learned this in college. This means, my birth parents played a huge role in my life. They are responsible for much of what I am today (good and bad). While we're giving props let's also recognise their role in the genetics they passed on to me (also good and bad). I look at so many children each day whether it be in my house, in the schools I've taught in, The TreeHouse, or church, and I wonder how much of their behavior is learned and how much is genetic. Really though, much of what we are boils down to our parents, genetics, and those first six years.

I realize there are many variables in my simple theory...this is called life. My life took the first of many major turns at six years old. I left home (not by choice). I never went back. I didn't see my dad again until I was well into adulthood and sought him out myself. I won't use this post to document details of that meeting or feelings from that time. This post's purpose has now become clear to me.

It's difficult to hold on to feelings from so long ago and memories forged by a small child. My birth father passed away several years ago, and I was quite emotional for a daughter who had little to no contact with the man. I now know I cried for what would never be. I am a 30 something woman still grasping to the tiniest shreds of anything from pre-adoption just to keep some kind of a connection. A connection to what, I am not sure. I am loyal. That's for certain. Is that learned or genetic? Either way, there is a strong chance it comes from my birth father or mother.


If Mike "Dad" Wagar were standing here I would ask these things:

Do you think I look more like you or the mother?

Do you eat fast? Are you always the first one done?

Do you love to read? Is it true my name came from a novel you read?

Are you funny? Do you love to laugh? Can you laugh for me?

Did you miss me when I didn't come back? Did you want me back?

Do you love me like you love your sons?

I was a pretty great kid wasn't I?


Here are things I would say:

The forehead...hate it.

I like animals.

I was a pretty great kid.

Thank you.

Baller!

Maverick had his first basketball game today. He has waited years for this moment. In Yuma, the first basketball program begins in second grade. Maverick has wanted to play since birth.

Buddy blew me away today. I am so proud. He was a team player. He knew how to handle the ball. He smiled. He played hard.

He said, "I got the ball a lot of times."

Coach DeCorse with happy with the game and called Maverick his "defensive man."

He is on a 2nd & 3rd grade team (The Mighty Kings). He is by far the shortest on the team, and he is on the younger end, as well. He was irritated that his jersey almost touched his knees. His feet don't touch the ground when he sits on the bench, so it's a good thing he doesn't sit out much. Maverick brags about his Uncle Zac being a basketball player and has always looked up to him...way up. What he lacks in height he makes up for in drive.

Odd Life...

I took the girls to see "The Odd Life of Timothy Green" last night. I am so glad I did. I cried like a baby, of course, but there was more to it than that. If you have ever struggled to conceive, never conceived, lost a child, adopted a child, or if you are a child you should see this movie.

Many aspects of this movie struck home for me, but something jumped out at me that I have never really thought about.

One day my parents were just a married couple (10 years in) dying to have a child, and the next day they had this 6 1/2 year old kid under their care. In almost the blink of an eye their lives were changed forever. I thought about how they had no notice and little experience. Yes, they were both school teachers, but educating a child is much different than raising a child. I now wonder about their conversations in bed those few nights after they tucked me in. I wonder what dumb/silly things people said to them in regards to their new "baby." I wonder how long it took them to fall in love with me.

I'm sure they struggled as new parents, but they never let me in on it. I love them for that and so much more. I am grateful for my new perspective.

Fresh Syd!

My oldest has started high school. This is just weird. She absolutely loves it. I am so glad. Before school began, Maranda took pictures of Sydney for me. I want to have them, so we can compare her senior photos with her freshman photos. Not to mention, when Sydney is a senior Mallory will be a freshman. Maranda and I have huge plans for that photo shoot!!!

Thank you so much Urban Chic! I love you!

Back To School!

These three started school today:
Mallory 6th
Maverick 2nd
Strider Kindergarten

I took a ton of pictures.

I Like Thomas Wyatt Lemmon!

~I like to write his name on scrap paper when I'm bored at church. Then I stick the scrap paper in my scriptures somewhere to be stumbled upon later.


~I like to wear his birthstone...not mine. I will put one of my two ruby rings on once in a while in hopes someone will ask me about the birthstone I'm wearing.


~I like to design tattoos using his name or his initials (no portrait tattoos or footprint tattoos, thank you) and know the entire time I would never actually go through with it.


~I like to pull down his box of pictures once a year and go through each and every one of them all by myself (selfish me).


~I like when Bob and I talk about our kids and how they all look like Lemmon's, and Bobby will tell me "T" looked like me (sweet lies).


~I like when family and friends text me because they are unsure of what to say but want me to know they remember.


~I like acting tough, so no one feels uncomfortable.


~Most of all I like knowing that he is my son forever. I like knowing I will be his mother for eternity (and eternity is a long time).


~"I'll love you forever. I'll like you for always." ~ Robert Munsch

Summer Adventure #2 Julian!

Katie reserved a cabin for her week off this summer. She was so sweet to invite up any of her siblings who were available to join her. I jumped at the chance, and I brought Mallory along. The cabin was just beautiful, and the weather was a nice escape. We went a week without cable, Internet, or phone service. Strange but nice. We read, played games, slept, and watched movies. Delightful.

Not quite like the cabins we stayed in as children.

The kitchen and view were my two favorite things about this cabin.

We did a lot of reading...my favorite pastime.

A Downing family tradition.

Mallory had hours of fun with a few rolls of tape.

Life is good.

Kibbee's 11th Birthday!

Katie, Mallory, and I spent a week together in Julian. For the 4th of July, we loaded up and headed to see Kelly and the family for the holiday and to celebrate Mallory's birthday. Katie was so wonderful to plan a little party for Kibbee.

Summer Adventure #1 Oceanside!

My mother invited Sydney to go with her to my grandfather's timeshare in Oceanside this year. I invited myself to tag along. She pretty much told me I could only come if I brought the boys (long story made short). We had a wonderful time. We had a ton of family up there, and we kept plenty busy. Did I really have a choice with two boys?

My mother...The only human being on the beach wearing jeans. Love her!

Thank you for a wonderful trip, Mom! Thank you, Grandpa, for the hospitality.