I'm so glad I chose to write my thoughts and post them on the blog last year on this very day.
I revisited the post today, and I feel the same today as I did then, but I feel very different than I did six years ago. Six years ago on this very day life was moving without me. I couldn't concentrate. I couldn't eat. I felt dizzy. I felt physical pain all over. I now know the true meaning of a "heartache." When I allow it, the ache returns, and I always allow it on September 5th at least. My goal for this September 5th was to photograph our sweetest boy's headstone. I don't know if it will happen today due to several factors (called life), but I will get one and place it with this post. I have no pictures of the actual funeral, and I have none of his grave. We have a roll of film from the funeral, but I am still not ready to share those pictures with the one hour photo lady at Target (pre-digital). The images on there are so sacred and special. I wonder when I will be ready to share, print, and view them?
I do have to say today came just in time for me. So many things are coming and going in my life. I have been bogged down with all of the wrong things lately. I have been feeling bad about things I have said. I have felt bad about things people think about me. I have felt bad about things people say about me, and things people say to others. Today has brought me back to what is important and what matters. Spencer W. Kimble said the most important word in the English language is the word "remember." I couldn't agree more. Today is a day of remembrance for me, my family, and some friends.
Here are just 20 of the things I want to always REMEMBER:
1. No one is perfect (especially me).
2. Always forgive.
3. Don't believe everything you hear.
4. The final kiss I gave my son
5. Things of the world are just silly.
6. Always give service, but especially when you are at your lowest.
7. You are being watched, but no one watches you quite like you see yourself.
8. You are loved.
9. Many people have it worse than you do.
10. The Good Earth by Pearl S. Buck
11. Ten Commandments
12. Everyone is busy don't take it personally!
13. Perspective, you never know where someone else is coming from. Just Try.
14. Appreciate each moment as if it were your last. It very well could be (hardest to remember).
15. It's just not worth getting worked up over.
16. Most things are out of your control. Accept it along with remember it.
17. You aren't always right.
18. Smile! Just because your day stinks doesn't mean everyone's day has to.
19. The swirly cowlicks on Thomas's head
20. Love one another!
You all know I could go on and on.